As part of the process of coming out, you may find you’re flying headlong into a brand new identity. With that new identity is the undisputed permission to add as many needless vowels and silent consonants to your name as possible!
The addition of extra letters is the simplest method and recommended for those unsure about such a commitment. Sam becomes Ssam, Nick becomes Nickk, and Barry becomes Barryy.
When you’re feeling a little more comfortable, you can progress to the replacement of letters already present in your name. Trevor becomes Treva, Colin becomes Kolin.
From there, you’ll start to get the natural feel of it all. Stevo easily transforms into Stiephe, your mate Davo becomes Dayfvid, and your buddy Bruce becomes B’ruse (needless punctuation is the name equivalent of a triple BMX backflip).
When you’re ready to go truly apeshit, just invent an entirely new fucking name. Laeiourent! Dreux! Aambercrombiiiy!
If you’re truly canny, you’ll simply add as many As as possible at the start of your new name. Gets you at the top of the list in online hookup sites every time.
2 Comments
No you can’t. Not if you’re a top.
Three syllables. Eleven letters. A ‘ph’. I fricking OWN #17.
Krystofuh
Crissteaupha
Kristopheure
Khriistaufeh
I could do this for days.